Coupland

Todd is compressing code this week and as a sideline invented what he calls a "Prince Emulator" - a program th@ converts whatever you write into a title of a song by Minnesotan Funkmeister, Prince. I sampled it using part of today's diary.

A few minutz 18r I bumpd in2 Karla walkng akros the west lawn. She walkz rEly kwikly & she'z so smal, like a litl kid.
It wuz so odd 4 both uv us, C-ng Ech utter outside the otmeel walz + oystr karpetng uv the oiiss. We stopd & s@ on the lawn + talkd 4 a wile. We shared a fElng uv konspiraC by not B-ng inside helpng with the shippng dedline.
I askd hr if she wuz lookng 4 shroomz with the Dedhedz, but she sed she wuz going nutz in hr oiiss, & she just had 2 B in the wild 4 a few minutz in the 4St B-side the Kampus. I thot this wuz such an unuzual aspekt uv hr prsonaliT, I mEn, B-kuz she'z so mowsy + indorzy lookng. It wuz good 2 C hr & 4 once 2 not hav hr yellng @ me 2 stop B-ng a noosanss. We'v wrkd mayB 10 officz apart 4 half a yEr, + we'v nevr once rEly talkd 2 Ech utter.
I showd Karla sum brch bark I'd pEld off a trE outside Biking 9 & she showd me sum skarlet soomak lEvz she had found in the 4St. I told hr about the diskussion Marl, AntonLa, Harold, + I had B-n havng about dogz & katz ovr @ Nin-10-do'z staf piknik tablz. She lA down on the ground + thot about this, so I lA down, 2. The sun wuz hot & good. I kould only C the sky + hear hr wrdz. She srprizd me.
She sed th@ we, az humnz, bear the brdn uv havng 2 B evry animl in the wrld roll in21.
She sed th@ we rEly hav no identiT uv our own.
She sed, "Wh@ iz human B-havior, X-ept tryng 2 proov th@ w'r not animalz?"
She sed, "I think we hav strAd so far awA from our animal originz th@ we R bent on kre8ng a noo, soopra-animal idNtiT."
She sed, "Wh@ R komputrz but the EvryAnimalMashEn?"
I kouldn't B-lEv she wuz talkng like this. She wuz like an episode uv Star Trek made flesh. It wuz az if I wuz falng in2 a dEp, dEp hole az I hrd hr voiss speak 2 me. But then a bumbl-B bumbld abuv us & it stole our alOnshun the wA flyng thngz kan.
She sed, "Imagin B-ng a B + livng in a gr8 big hive. You would hav no idea th@ 2morow wuz going 2 B any difrent than 2dA. You kould retrn 2 th@ same hive 1,000 yearz latr & ther would B just the same prception uv 2morow az nevr B-ng any difrent. Humanz R kompletely difrent. We asoom 2morow iz anuthr wrld."
I askd hr wot she ment, + she sed, "I meen th@ the animalz liv in anuthr sens uv time. They kan nevr hav a sens uv history B-kuz they kan nevr C the difrenss B-twEn 2dA & 2morow."
I juggld sum smal rokz I found B-side me. She sed she didnt kno I kould juggl + I told hr it wuz sumthing I lrnd by ozmosis in my last produkt groop. We got up & walkd 2gethr bak 2 Biking 7. I pushd my bike. We walkd ovr the windng wite Cment path spekld with know shit, past the fountunz, + thru the hemlokz & frz.

I reread the Prince Version and realized th@ after a certain point, real language decomposes into encryption code; Japanese.